ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
