I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
