Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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