party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
