We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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