Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
