Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
