the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
