i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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