you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
