His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
