He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize