Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
