It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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