you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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