Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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