wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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