so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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