they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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