im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
