Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
