Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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