i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
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i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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