you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
