4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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