We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize