You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
