If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize