Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
