Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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