i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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