Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
