i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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