are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
