I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
