He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize