oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and she was petting her beer can
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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