HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
