Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
