She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
