your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
