Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
