nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
