nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
