where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
