my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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