Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
where am i from again
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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