So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
