I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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