did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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