tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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