booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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