Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
