ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
