Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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