No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
