Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
