drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Randomize
