You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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