so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
